*sigh* I'm in a very weird place right now. I've recently decided that I'm not meant to be in any meaningful, in love type relationships with guys. I've become numb to all feelings of infatuation. I doubt that I am even capable of loving anyone in that way. Unfortunately, my feelings towards everyone are getting worse and worse. I want to be alone more often, and everyone is just straight annoying. I know that I've changed since coming to college. An agreeing, calm, chill attitude has replaced my once argumentative, stand-your-ground attitude. At first, I thought this change was good. Life is a lot easier when you're not angry. The only problem is that, when I do get angry, I don't know how to display it anymore. I pretty much just walk away instead of letting my feelings out. Maybe all of this is making me want to be alone more.
Anyway, the recent mishap with dyeing my locs has me even more on edge. I have a terrible urge to get rid of them. Of course, I love my babies; but, now I see why people say that there is so much energy wrapped up in locs. People who have had multiple sets of locs often state an emotional bout as the reason why they cut their locs. I'm going to let this awkward time ride out. Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe I'll call my mommy and see what she thinks.
Until next time...
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